Essential VHS Viewing #1

Today I'm going to start a new semi-regular theme for reviews of old VHS tapes I have recently purchased and viewed. My love for the medium of VHS is no secret to regular readers of this blog and I feel like it is ESSENTIAL for watching '80s horror and action flicks. The tinny music, the wavy lines, the graininess of the footage, and the cheap production values of the video company logos at the beginning all add to the viewing experience. Here's a clip featuring some of the more well-known home video companies...

VHS also transports me back to my childhood, when renting a movie meant going to a dusty part of the grocery store (past the machine that sold Freddy Krueger stickers and 6 packs of Tab) and checking out the artwork on the boxes for the movie that looked coolest. Back then nothing beat the thrill of holding that clamshell case in your lap on the ride home, anticipating a Friday night of thrills.

In the past few months I've been seeking out and purchasing only the finest of old videos. A while back I posted a pic of a large pile of videos I found at an area Goodwill. Just two weeks ago I found some cool cheap vids at one of my local record stores; look for a post reviewing those as soon as I watch them. Today I plan on talking about three worthy additions to my growing collection I recently found on Amazon Marketplace and watched over the weekend. The titles? "The Stoned Age." "Teen Wolf." And "Squirm."

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"The Stoned Age" is a comedy that came out in 1994 about two stoners in the late '70s looking for booze and broads. As for whether it's better than "Dazed and Confused?" Well, that's a matter of taste. I do prefer "Dazed" but this movie has a certain charm for it. It is at times cheesy, cartoonish, sophomoric, and thinly plotted, BUT it's also a lot of fun. Plus, there are some fine chicks in it to look at and an ass kicking soundtrack featuring Blue Oyster Cult, Foghat, and Black Sabbath.

The movie also creates it's own language with all of the slang the characters use, most of which has probably never been heard elsewhere. Here's some examples:

                                                      Worm = Back-Stabber

                                                      Lumbo = Good Weed

                                                        Talls = 16 oz. beers

                                                     Skankweed = Bad Weed  

  

Here's a clip where we meet our two main protagonists, Joe and Hubbs:

This movie also features Grace Slick and Paul Kantner's daughter China and has cameos by Eric Bloom and Buck Dharma from B.O.C. "The Stoned Age" is so bad it's good, and worth checking out. Just make sure you have plenty of talls to consume while watching it. 

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My love for this movie is well-known, and I talked about it in my review of it's horribly unworthy sequel which I posted back in March. Not only is this flick one of my favorite '80s movies, but it's also one of my favorite movies of all time. It just hits all the right notes. I can watch this movie over and over and never tire of it. I watched it just this past Sunday and still got chills at the end where Michael J. Fox brushes past the sex goddess Pamela for the girl next door, Boof.

*Sigh* Boof. As soon as time travel technology is perfected, I'm going back to 1985 to win your love.

Another highlight of this flick? Jerry Levine as Stiles. He's the typical '80s flick teen bad influence. This movie is where I first got a look at what high school life was like. Here's a clip of him trying to buy a keg. The party store brings back memories of similar establishments I used to go to with my dad back in the day.

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I first saw this '70s b-horror movie as a 13 year old in a heavily edited version that aired on the "Thriller Double Feature." Every Saturday afternoon on Detroit's Ch. 20 they would show two horror flicks, typically from the '70s and '80s. Here's a clip of the intro for that program...you gotta love those old school low budget production values!

Anyway, I later saw "Squirm" in its' unedited glory years later when I found it on Netflix. This movie tells the story of three teens in a small Georgia town who have to face the wrath of carnivorous worms. The worms become frenzied killers after a freak lightning storms sends hundreds of thousands of volts of electricity into the wet soil. I totally love the red-headed main character, Geri, played by the beguiling Patricia Pearcy. Here's a link to pics and a clip of her brief topless scene in the film, showing a side view of her small but pert breasts. http://ancensored.com/nude-appearance/squirm-geri-sanders

I just can't get enough of those '70s gals!

"Squrim" is a total low-budget, drive-in movie theater style movie. The way it's filmed gives it an almost documentary feel, and I would compare it in that way to the legendary "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Here's a clip of the trailer:

Well gang, that's all for this first entry in my series of "Essential VHS Viewing." Next on the docket? Three movies that didn't come out during the Carter or Reagan administrations but were still worthwhile: "Halloween: H20," "Halloween: Resurrection," and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie."